Posted by admin on Mar 6, 2012 in Counseling and Therapy | Comments Off on What is Couples Therapy
Human beings are wired to be in relationship to each other. We have relationships with parents, siblings, offspring, extended family and friends. All relationships have within them challenges and these challenges often play out in our most intimate relationship that to our partners or spouses. In this relationship we join with another person and create a shared a dream.
Like in every relationship a couple of made up of two halves; two individuals who chose to come together and create “the couple”. Each individual is responsible only for their own half. No matter how much you love each other you can never know what another person feels, what another believes or the assumptions they make. Couples often get into trouble when they forget this simple truth and individuals try to take responsibility for each other.
When people believe that they are responsible for another and that another is responsible for them they frequently become engaged in trying to control each other. We strive to control the other because we mistakenly believe that they are responsible for our wellbeing, what happens to them will hurt us and conversely if we hurt it is the other’s fault.
In this dynamic communication is eroded since people are no longer able to listen to one another. Individuals slowly begin to drift apart which triggers their distress and their demands of each other. Unable to meet these demands they become resentful and conflict escalates.
Couples therapy can be helpful in resolving these difficulties and helping the couple establish a healthier dynamic. One in which they can both get back to building a shared dream, while recognizing that each has her/his own dream. A dynamic in which the couple establish a partnership in which you both chose to invest because “it’s fun”, no one wins and no one loses.
Through couples therapy you and your partner can establish a new way of being together. With the help of a therapist you can explore new possibilities create new opportunities. Learn communication strategies that are based on love and respect. Learn to find your voice and state your needs clearly trusting in yourself and in your partner. The goal is for you to have a satisfying relationship that improves over time.